A little bit of faith

Today I had Delainey's Gramma Agard and aunti Erica come join me for when the pastor came to lay hands on Delainey. The NICU nurses were incredibly kind and understanding and allowed us to sneak Erica into the room (we were only given 4 hospital bands to give to family and Erica didn't receive one) The Pastor came in today and was so sweet to Delainey, I shared with him all that I knew at the time more so concentrating on her kidneys and the fact that her left eye had yet to open and we were a little concerned. The pastor said a beautiful prayer and it made me cry, Delainey seemed to be at peace and it left me speechless. After Gramma and Erica left, I spoke privately with the pastor about everything I had been going through and how it was putting such a strain on my relationship with her daddy and how I was so overwhelmed and feeling such horrible thoughts at times like caring about what others would think about my daughter and thinking she was anything less than perfect. He was so kind and comforted me as I cried. He told me that 'special babies' are only born to 'special people' God knows certain children require more attention and more love than others and the pastor said he could sense such an intense love I had for her and that he knows EXACTLY why God put her into my life, its because HE knew I would love her unconditionally, accept her 'flaws' as what makes her remarkable and that no matter what happens, my work with her will be rewarded by Him. Not that Im looking to be rewarded but it made me feel soooo good. At this point all I wanted as a reward was for God to heal my daughter and bless her with a healthy, normal life.

I left the hospital today feeling a bit discouraged though because I was informed that Delainey would not be discharged until for sure her due date, it's more of a goal date, it doesn't mean she will be released at that time. Also got told that she will only be going for surgery for her lip around 4-6 months instead of 1-2 months! I'm very discouraged, I just want her to be treated like every other normal baby and I want my child to fit in, I'm terrified what people are going to think about her. Judge me all you want but until you have a child that has abnormalities you can't say you wouldn't feel the same. I'm not ashamed of my daughter but I DO fear what people are going to say about her when they see her....